July 20, 2024

I return to the basics more and more as I make more cocktails. I am easily seduced by discovering new things about what is already known. I’m not a fan of infusions (even though they can be fantastic), fermentations on the kitchen counter, potions with eight or more ingredients, or elaborate cocktail presentations.

How often, for example, can you make a mojito and still feel affirmed in your life? The answer is yes, many times. Blanche would say, “Many, many times.” Recently, when developing cocktail slushies for a local microbrewery, I was forced to deal with my monogamous relationship with slight variations of classic cocktails. This is like buying a bed for my dog at a furniture store when looking for something for my apartment. (Most recently, it was a Ratan Chaise, but I needed a nightstand.) I asked myself if my cocktail list was becoming a rotating collection of less cute dog beds.

My civic duty was to include a frozen margarita in one of my videos, but I refused until recently. I have had a hectic and brutal summer for external reasons and my inability to adapt to being a human. Imagine a sloth working on a busy factory floor, trying to keep pace. The watermelons I bought in the spirit for the season were rotting from the inside, so I had to throw them out. I was also exhausted from work and needed a drink. I also need to improve at staying hydrated.

Margaritas are my ride-or-die cocktails. You know the formula for mostĀ cocktails, my friends: Avoiding wastage + Needing a Drink + Something Familiar + A Multi-Purpose Moment equaled a Watermelon Margarita. As I drank them, I thought, “This would be a great slushy.” Was it boring? Was it too obvious? Why did I even care? Carlin, my friend.

Carlin sent me cassis jellies that were so delicious that they brought tears to my eye. I love Carlin. She told me the rug I purchased from IKEA was “just okay.” When I saw that she had posted a frozen margarita made by her for her after-work enjoyment, I knew I was on the right track. Carlin, known to make magic happen at home, had the same idea and seemed pleased, so that was all I required. God, I wish everyone had a Carlin.

There are several ways to make this. My original, at-home, extremely-lazy-and-unfrozen method, or the slightly-more-involved-and-frozen way. Both are tasty, refreshing, and almost hydrating. Depending on which study you read, they also contain lycopene which may help lower blood pressure. I like to use a Tajin rim with salt on my ice cream because…well…it’s fantastic, but it is also completely optional.

How to make Watermelon Margaritas (the lazy girl way).

  • Watermelon cubes (about 1 inch) – 3-4 pieces of ripe watermelon, but not mealy.
  • Sugar cubes or 3/4 oz (I used sugar cubes for convenience).
  • 1 oz fresh lime juice
  • 2 oz tequila (I use Blanco)

Add the watermelon, sugar cubes, and other ingredients to a shaker. Fill the shaker with ice, shake it for 6-8 seconds, and strain it into a glass with fresh ice.

Pour the Tajin/salt mixture into a small dish in the ratio of your choice. Use a lime half to rub the rim of a serving glass before adding ice. Then, dip it in your Tajin/salt mix. If you prefer a more intense seasoning, twist your glass. Pour your marg into your glass after adding ice.

How to make Watermelon Margaritas (the Hot Girl Summer Carlin Way)

Carlin suggests freezing pieces of a very ripe, slushy watermelon in advance. (Save the rind to makeĀ it cordial.) It is an excellent idea because you don’t need ice. The frozen watermelon provides the necessary dilution, chilling factor, and slushy texture.

  • Watermelon frozen pieces – 4-5
  • 2 oz tequila
  • 1 oz fresh lime juice
  • 3/4 oz simple syrup

Blend all ingredients until desired consistency is achieved. Pour into a glass (preferably chilled), and enjoy life.

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